(This is the first of what I hope will be a series of posts from a young couple recently embarked on a wife led marriage. Since Brad sent me his “story” first, I’ll start with that, and follow in a few days with Shannon’s version of how they came together, and how she took control.—Mark Remond)
Brad: I grew up in a family were my mother was clearly in charge. She is the one who told us what to do and disciplined us when we disobeyed. She told dad what to do as well. My family consists of my mom, my dad, my older sister and older brother and myself. If mom and dad weren’t around, my sister was in charge. I thus grew up accepting that the women had more authority in the home than men.
I dated my wife, Shannon, in high school and often let her be in charge, but I got teased by the other guys a lot and I ruined it by arguing with her a lot, trying to be “the man.” I didn’t know it at the time, but there are different types of men, and I am a submissive one. I like others to be in charge, I feel safe and secure that way. It took me living on my own with no one to guide me to realize this.
By the time I graduated college I knew I needed someone that would take control of our relationship, and I vowed this time I would not screw it up. I got lucky when my high school girlfriend came to my party and saw that I was not trying to be the dominant one anymore. She seemed interested in me for some reason, but I was scared. Over the summer we hung out again and finally we got back together, but she made it clear it was not to be like last time. Jokingly I told her that she might have to spank me if I did that so I would learn. She laughed and I thought everything would be fine until I got very grouchy at some point and snapped at her for no reason other than I was stressed. That was when our relationship changed.
Prior to this my wife called the shots, made decisions and reminded me of what I needed to do, but this behavior of mine made her realize she would not put up with me snapping. She yelled at me and gave me a choice—either I could leave, or she would do exactly as I had suggested when we got back together, i.e., punish me in order to teach me what was and was not acceptable behavior.I was shocked, but happier with Shannon at that moment than I had ever been, and so agreed to let her punish me. But when she told me to drop my pants and briefs and bend over her lap, I was humiliated. That first spanking was more humiliating then painful since she only used her hand, but I still cried, mostly I think from the guilt. I behaved really well after that—for a while, but it came to the point where I snapped at her again, and so got another spanking. This one was harder than the first.
This cycle continued for a while until Shannon began to punish me for other things that annoyed her (and still do). Now I know that I can always count on her to help me be a good husband for her, and a good father to my kids in the future. (Fortunately, I have a few years to learn from Shannon’s instruction before that happens!)
I should mention that, outside our home, people see a relatively normal couple where both people work. They see me treat my wife with respect and vice versa. The system of our wife led marriage will evolve, I am sure, but it works well for us, and I love her today even more than I did when we got engaged.