That a female-in-charge lifestyle flourished within Nancy's family was obvious from the moment i walked into Her home. The formality and structure was a significant new dimension for me, but one that had been solidly in place for some time. i'd been in many Woman-led households—the henpecked-husband relationships that Kaitlin is now discovering existed in significant numbers just under the social surface. Women in these relationships wielded significant authority, but there were limits influenced by societal norms. Many Women tell Kaitlin that their public personas were more traditional because of societal expectations that Women be more deferential to men. Nevertheless, these Women were the vanguard of a movement that would eventually lead to the better-educated, in-charge and upwardly Women of today.
In the years before meeting Sue and Joan, i aspired to just such a marital relationship. A relationship where men took orders, did housework, and subordinated spending decisions to their Wives. To me, men in such relationships were to be admired and respected, not ridiculed. Nancy's family took that to another level altogether, demanding a measure of service that many “henpecking Wives”—and i use this term with respect and reverence—could never have imagined.
The lifestyle in Nancy's family was a living thing, requiring men constantly to take on new duties, behaviors, and formalities, all framed in The Protocols. And it wasn't just Women who drove these changes; men, too, appreciated that structure was a way to ensure their doing the right thing, thus ensuring a tranquil household.