Learning to serve not only provided me the basis for a satisfying lifestyle within the family, but gave skills that had immediate practical value.
When i returned to college after a particularly grueling weekend under Joan’s tutelage, i noticed an ad for wait staff at an upscale country club near campus. The country club had a reputation for paying staff well and for well-to-do members who generously tipped for good service. i put a brief resume together, highlighting my college work, extracurricular activities, and many of the skills i’d learned from Joan.
The next day, dressed in a black jacket, white shirt with cuff links, and a red bow tie—Joan’s influence again—i personally visited the country club and engaged the well-dressed, middle-aged receptionist.“Excuse me Ma’am, i’d like to express my interest in the wait staff position,” i said, offering Her my resume while noting some of my skills. i expected to simply introduce myself and leave my resume, but She told me to wait. Shortly another Woman came and took over the receptionist's desk, freeing the Woman who’d been perusing my resume.
It turned out that the “receptionist” i first encountered was the Woman in charge of hiring for the position! She’d only been sitting in for the Woman who normally staffed the front desk and was appalled at the disheveled, poorly motivated students who’d come to the desk before me to ask for an application or to leave off a poorly written resume. She liked my “Excuse me, Ma'am” much more than the “Hey, Lady” She'd received from other applicants. Others thought they were dealing with administrative staff that they could talk down to; Joan and Sue had taught me that all Women deserved respect, no matter their position, and that a Woman is NEVER talked down to! EVER!
After glancing at me and my resume, She granted me an immediate interview, leading me into Her large, well-appointed office. She introduced Herself as Katherine Hobs (not her real name). She was immediately familiar to me as a Woman who regularly appeared in the society pages with Her well-to-do, but boorish-looking attorney husband. She invited me to call Her Katherine, but i would have none of it. i was in the presence of a Goddess and wanted to address Her accordingly, telling Her that i felt more comfortable addressing Her as Mrs. Hobs. She smiled and nodded Her approval, but i'd only use “Mrs.” for a few more minutes. When Her Feminism became obvious, i suggested that, in lieu of “Mrs.” i address Her as “Ms. Hobs.” She agreed. i call Her “Ms. Hobs” or “Ms. Katherine” to this day.
She motioned me to sit down on a low chair without arms next to Her desk. Perhaps the low chair was coincidence, but i suspected—and now know—that this Woman knew something about power and the impact of a low chair on the person sitting in it; i had learned of the power exchange that takes place in such a situation from Joan and Sue.
“Before we get started,” Ms. Hobs said, “may I serve you a cup of coffee or tea?” I rose and said,“I would enjoy some coffee, Ma’am, but only if I may serve myself and You as well!”
With a surprised smile, She agreed, again turning Her attention to my resume. She had a beautiful sterling silver coffee service on the credenza. Taking a clean cup and saucer, i poured coffee and placed the cup and saucer and cream and sugar on a small, but ornate tray. Placing a linen napkin over my wrist, i returned to Her desk where I added cream and sugar as She directed. i placed a linen napkin on Her desk and then the cup of coffee.“Here you are, Ma’am, please enjoy!” i said to the stunned Woman who responded, “Our head waiter could not have done a more elegant job!”
“My pleasure, Ma’am,” I said, while thinking “Your head waiter likely wasn’t trained by an impatient Goddess with a quick temper and a leather slapper!”
Ms. Hobs motioned me to sit while She completed Her review of my resume.
When She was done She rolled Her chair in front of me and crossed Her legs. Ah, the power of shapely Female legs in a skirt, heels, and pantyhose! She was indeed intimidating; looking down at me, She began Her questioning.
Ms. Hobs asked about my experience serving and where I had acquired it. “Working as both a servant and housekeeper for a private family,” i told Her, adding, “i can get references” – well, I hopedJoan and Sue would give me a reference! I’d included my Feminist activities on my resume, and She seemed very interested in them, asking many questions. She considered Herself a Feminist and commented that too few men were in the Movement; i agreed. She later admitted that She had been very skeptical about this part of my resume, but my being conversant on the topic quickly convinced Her otherwise. We discussed a variety of Feminist issues, our must-read Feminist books, and expressed an abhorrence of Patriarchy and a desire to see more Women ascend to leadership positions, both agreeing this would have positive impacts on society.
Then the interview got back to practical topics associated with serving. Ms. Hobs delved into the specifics of setting a table, serving drinks, presenting a wine, clearing a table, courtesies when serving Women, and so on. She was particularly interested in my serving Women since the country club had numerous Female members and spouses; at lunch two thirds of the tables were all Female. Knowing that She had problems with some of Her male wait staff when it came to serving Women, i assured Her She'd have no such issues with me.
She wanted to know specifics and mentioned a number of things i might do to show deference to Women and make Their dining experience a good one:
· Express a willingness to serve Women, “How may i serve You Ladies?” And always follow up with good service.· Always use proper honorifics—Ma'am, Madame, Ladies, etc. Shockingly some of the current staff was remiss here!
· Pull out chairs for the Ladies—basic chivalry but often not done by some current staff!
· Engage in polite dialogue with Female diners, making suggestions, paying appropriate compliments.
· Otherwise speak only when spoken to or when necessary to provide excellent service.
· Look in on Female diners more regularly since many Women tended to not ask for help.
· Serve Women first and then male diners; actually i'd never served a man before since men simply weren't served in Nancy's family.
· Suggest that a Female guest select and approve the wine, a traditionally male undertaking.
· Place the check in front of the Women as opposed to assuming that the male would be paying; that is, not making an erroneous assumption that Women were less able to pay.
· Help Women after the bill was paid by doing things like getting their coats from the coat check and helping them put them on, as opposed to sending Female guests on to coat check to fend for themselves; i add a bit of unexpected service!
· Order their car from the valet while they sipped a last cup of coffee.
And i made a suggestion that may benefit Female diners—the bell Protocol i learned in Nancy's family. i suggested that since Women were conditioned not to gesture or raise their voices that a small, elegant dinner bell be placed at all-female tables as a discreet and feminine way of summoning immediate service. Ms. Hobs loved the idea and would put it into practice.After nearly two hours we parted with Her promising i'd hear from Her soon. In fact, when i returned to my dorm there was a message waiting, asking me to come in for an “in-service interview” in two days. i'd be serving Ms. Hobs and three of Her friends.
“Do well and the job is yours” Her message said. And i was instructed to visit the country club ahead of time to get fitted for a proper uniform—a tie and tux.
(Next: dennis appears for his in-service interview with Goddess Katherine.)