AW (commenting on dennis’ post, LEADERSHIP WEARS HIGH HEELS!:
Just wanted to share that this blog has been inspirational. I'm not sure I agree with it all, but it has made me think, and I am trying very hard to properly worship my wife. I always thought I did, but after really trying, it is amazing how often I forget myself and put my needs before hers, in conversations and in deeds. It's tougher than it sounds! But it really feels right, and I will continue to try my hardest. I think she is enjoying it too, and our relationship has always had that kind of dominance anyway, but I was just surprised at how much more I had to learn.
Anyway. thanks for the inspiration. I look forward to keeping up with your and other blogs on the lifestyle.
PS: An interesting conundrum here, I don't think my wife would appreciate me sharing this, so I am anonymous and feeling a bit guilty for now, but we'll see if I gather the courage to bring it up with her in the future!
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dennis responds:
aw, your sentiments concerning Worshiping your Wife are indeed real and valid. Getting into the lifestyle is something that takes time and effort on your part and acceptance on the part of your Wife. She is the one who will ultimately determine the facets of your relationship – accept what She says!Nevertheless, you can move things forward by doing little things for Her and seeing how She responds. This is how my relationship with Nancy evolved. So many of the things i do for Her, weren't suggested by Nancy at all; rather, i started doing something for Her that She enjoyed or that was beneficial and just kept on doing it. Taking care of Her shoes, for example, or the little stoop and bow that i do as a show of respect. Now these things are a part of the dynamic of our relationship. They are no longer a courtesy but, rather, something expected.
you note that “it is amazing how often I forget myself and put my needs before hers, in conversations and in deeds.” This is natural, particularly early in a relationship; men are conditioned this way and it's essential that you change such behaviors. While you should make a mental note to defer to Her, actions speak louder than words. Defer to Her in conversation; ask for Her views; agree with Her; immediately do what She says, compliment Her; listen to Her responses! Listening is VERY important; Women want to be listened to, but men rarely do this. The Women in Nancy's family gave me an invaluable piece of advice when they told me i should “Shut up and listen.” i've learned a lot by listening, whether the Women are speaking to me or not. By listening you learn about Her likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. With this knowledge you can do more for Her and move your relationship along. And by listening, you're telling Her what She's saying is important; by keeping quiet, you're telling that what you have to say isn't. This is confirming exactly what She feels. And it's a powerful demonstration of who's in charge of the relationship!
i'm not sure how far your Wife will take your relationship, but most Women love the dynamic of an FLR and will eventually start moving things forward. Nancy and i are well along in our relationship; Nancy is quite authoritative and that's how we both like it. No “please and thank you” on Her part, just an order or an expectation met with a energetic, “Yes, Ma'am.” It's the reality of our life together, and that's how we like it! Nancy loves giving orders and i love taking them; now that's real worship, to our way of thinking! Men outside an FLR don't understand; those inside do, and those contemplating an FLR are excited at the prospect!Good luck!