Nancy and her mother typically make all of the major purchases at our home, and it's rare that I'm included in the decision making process; I really don't need to be. Saturday was an exception, and one that I enjoyed since I had the opportunity to demonstrate my commitment to Nancy, to purchase something that I needed, and, as a bonus, do a bit of evangelizing. I needed a new iron so Nancy and Sue took me to see what was available.Assuming that the women were going to use the iron, the saleswoman directed her presentation of the iron's features to them. Sue interrupted her well-rehearsed pitch and told her that neither she nor Nancy did any ironing and that she should direct her comments to me--since "he does all the ironing." The saleswoman seemed taken aback but, somewhat uncomfortably, began to direct her pitch to me.
I was proud to demonstrate a real knowledge of irons. When we made a purchase, the saleslady said that she wished her husband, now retired and at home, would do some ironing. All of us said that he should and would if she insisted. I told her that I enjoyed doing housework and that doing it gave me a feeling of accomplishment.While she initially saw it as unusual that a man would be the decision maker about the purchase of an iron, she seemed to appreciate the many possibilities of men doing housework and was very accommodating, telling me that she'd appreciate knowing how the new iron worked out.
One of the FLR issues raised by this anecdote is that men and, unfortunately, women adopt the gender roles assigned by patriarchy. There is a patriarchy-inspired focus on women when domestic items are involved, but this is just not the case anymore. We all need to free ourselves from these gender stereotypes.Especially in female-led relationships, men may well be doing the ironing. and the sooner everyone recognizes this, the better.
The same applies in other areas.Waiters and even waitresses, for example, routinely assume that he, not SHE, is picking up the check. In more and more cases women outearn men and will be picking up the check for a dinner out. By doing so, women send a powerful statement concerning gender roles. In the same way, by letting me select the iron and directing the saleswoman to address her pitch exclusively to me, Nancy not only addressed a practical matter but made a strong statement concerning male-female relationships.
